Day one!

149 I think this morning. I can't remember. It may have been 149.5 (more likely). I can't find my damn notebook which is very concerning as it's got EVERYTHING in it. It's not at work, I know that. It's got to be at home here somewhere.

So by Tuesday morning I need to be144.5lbs.

Today was meh. Got a ton of shit figured out at work, ate wor wonton soup, not the broth but I have no idea on calories. (tons of veggies... maybe 300 cals?). I also ate some cherry tomatoes, dried apricots, one turtles, and 3 oreos. I'll have some tea so not 500 cals, but I'm hoping it's not over 800 cals.

Heard from Shane again. He's calling it quits. I need to find a new trainer. I'm miserable and I feel like the rug under my feet has been yanked away. I will miss him. I don't know that we will stay friends. When I'm down next I will harass him out for a coffee or something, just to see how things go.

Went to the gym, did the private Zumba class. After she gave me the card of a trainer at another gym, someone who knows about bbing. She also told me I need to tell him about my food issues. She doesn't know I restrict, she only knows that I binge/purge on occasion and am trying to stop. I get the feeling from her that if I tell the truth I won't be 'taken' on as a client. I will try, but if he won't take me, I'll find someone and not tell them about that part of me.

And as fucked up as this is... the 500 for 5 in 5 should be going well. I'm 148 right now, so a loss of 1.5lbs already plus a probable .5lbs by morning.

Havent' decided if I will go for a run or hit the super early 9am Zumba class....

Either way I'm tired and am going to crash.