This month that is. I am so excited for the end of the month. It means I can get out of this house. I can get away from my friend and her constant mothering, quiet comments, feeding me etc.
She sent me a message today saying she'd made butter chicken for me. I"m not fucking eating butter chicken!!!!! I sent her a message saying I was thinking of just having soup and she kept pushing it... well there's some left over if I want, she's put some in a bowl for me, oh look, there it is in the fridge at the front when I get home. She did leave me some broccoli though and tried to offer me potatoes.
C'mon. I'm a fucking whale. I'm 150lbs. Again. I swore I wouldn't go over 140 back in January and here I am, 4months later carrying an extra 10lbs. It took me 4 months to lose it last time. At least last month I was bouncing from 144 to 151... Now I'm just a nice solid 148-151 or even worse 152.
Easter is this weekend. I'm terrified. I'm going to gain another 10lbs I swear. Plan is to overdo cardio tomorrow (I really hope I can get under 149 by morning) and eat nothing on Thursday, just have liquids and a protein shake (leg day... I'll need it as I'm with my ex-trainer), then on Friday eat as little as possible, and if I can't get out of it, take a laxative as late as possible. Saturday, light on food, Sunday as little as I can get away with and more laxatives. If dinner is early enough I should be ok.
Then on Monday, I quit sugar again. I managed today to avoid going into Superstore and buying bad stuff (which I'm super proud of), but I did end up dropping over $1 on the candy at work, and then ate 3 slices of bread at home. I just need to control the stupid things. It's only 10 more days but I have to keep a handle on it.
Tomorrow is salad, yogurt at work, rice cake on teh way home, luna bar before gym, banana and soup after (as it's at 9pm I'll be done....). Also, coffee while I'm at work too with splenda. Yummy.
Just begging to be less in tomorrow morning that I was this morning.
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