What Do I Want?

Coz I don't know anymore.

I had half an oatmeal at breakfast, snacks after church, chocolate and nuts as a snack, salad for lunch, ice cream then pizza for dinner. That's now what I should have eaten.

I'm going to be over 150lbs tomorrow. I care but I don't.

Do I want to be skinny anymore? I wanted toothpick skinny. I wanted to be known as the skinny one not the fat one.

Now I want to be known as the strong one, the one with the well toned body, the muscles, the health and strength.

I still need to lose weight, but I want to lose fat not muscle. I need to drop it responsibly and not starve myself.

I think I'm going to find an unhappy medium. Go back to what worked back in Sept/Oct. Eat salads yogurt and rice cakes, then veggies and soups/salmon for dinner. Eat light during the week and have one 'normal' -ish day. Make sure my water intake is way up there, at least 2L per day and believe it or not, cut back on some cardio. I read something lately and my trainer and friend backed it up with his own personal experiences. Too much cardio doesn't work. Aim for 60-120 min on heavy cardio days, and 30-60 on light days, only 6 times per week.

I'll try it. I need something to work..

I'm 153.4 right now.... I'll be 15? in the morning. I hope the first few days I drop below 150 again and get rid of the bloated feeling. I want my flat stomach back ;(