Goals

So today I pigged out... I ended up reminding Keith about lunch around 2pm. I wish I had just kept my mouth shut. So I ate rice, salmon, broccoli and pasta salad. Then I had a mini blizzard, followed by my Luna bar. For dinner I had a salad with feta cheese and low fat high calorie dressing and some kind of bento box thing with salmon but I didn't eat most of the rice. I'm going out to see Jane Eyre in an hour and I will eat popcorn and diet soda. I also ate half a cinnamon bun and a bunch of chocolate on the way home. (update, home from the movie and I ate popcorn, maltesers and half a diet soda.... Oh, plus all the bulk candy I didn't manage on my way home and there's still a bar of chocolate in my grocery bag that I may eat before going to bed.... 10 000 calories in one day? I may have been close today.)

So today is a write off.

Tomorrow we start anew. Again. One More Fucking Time.

So now I"m having goals. I will be 140 by April 30th. I assume I'll be around 150 by morning. Again. Gives me 22 days to drop 10lbs, and I'll do it.

So overall, here's what I plan:

If I can maintain under 144lbs for 3 days, I will allow myself a CHILD's size ice cream at Marble Slab. They're seriously tiny.

At 140lbs I will buy a new pair of jeans (I will need them soon!)

At 137lbs I will buy an iPod Nano (one of the new ones. The small square ones)

At 135lbs I will buy some Monster Beats headphones.

That's all I'm putting for now, but I think when I hit 125 I'll get that tattoo I've wanted for ages. Don't know which one yet. Maybe get one at 130 too....I can decide that once I crack 137.

How am I going to do it? I can't starve. It's leading to binging too much. I need to relax the IF a bit in some situations too, especially weekends and if I'm offered something small.

During the work week:

-skip breakfast. Have my mug of tea.

-avoid food until 1pm or so, but if I'm offered something small (like this morning some almonds) I may have a small portion.

-eat lunch staggered. Start off with the salad, then the yogurt at least an hour later. Need to take something else also, fruit or rice cake but not necessary to eat.

-pills about an hour before going to the gym.

-water water water water. If I need something in the afternoon (or on an evening shift) black tea that I take with me.

-very very very limited Starbucks. It's causing the binges. We're talking one every 2 weeks on a payday or something. Aim for black coffee or an Americano otherwise.

-pre gym on Weds when I have the late classes, one Luna bar, half before half after.

-Dinners are steamed veggies, salmon, soup etc. Light as possible.

-Night snacks are limited to dry cereal, fruit, etc.

Weekends

-avoid breakfast where possible. If not, eggs or oatmeal. Perhaps ONE slice of toast but only once on the weekend.

-coffee is black.

-skip lunches where possible. Salad otherwise.

-Restrict dinners as much as possible. Again, soups, salads, salmon, veggies etc.

-Restrict snacks.

Overall

-NO MORE SUPERSTORE. Avoid at all costs!

-No restaurants. No Drive Thrus. Nothing that I don't make myself unless I can not avoid it.

-Treats are popcorn, nutella, fruit, cereal, rice cakes etc.

-Sugar is my enemy. It worked so well when I was watching my sugars and now I'm all over the damn place. Chocolate and cakes are killing me. I need to opt for fruit if I'm having a craving, and if that's not available one of the crystal lites or a tea.

-Gym minimum of 4 times per week, maybe add in some excess cardio once I move out of this place. I shall have to see how it works in with time and life etc as driving to and from work is cutting into my life in general. But so is being social with the friend I'm living with...

-Take it (as lame as this is ) one day at a time. Get past day one, get to day two, then day three and before I know it I'll be back to 140 and back on track.

I remember how hard it was to get into this to begin with. It was so easy to drop weight as I had so much to lose. Now it's down to a smaller number. I'm considered a 'healthy' weight by numbers, but I sure as hell don't look it.

Next weekend I am hoping that I will be joining two friends for an outdoor training session. I'd prefer to be sub 144 so I'm not carrying around all this extra flab.

It's lame, it's a cliche but damn it, thinner FEELS BETTER!!!!!