I was down to 147.2 this morning. I also felt like a limp noodle. I didn't want to get up out of bed and I could feel just exhaustion creeping through my body. I slept amazing though, 10hrs of out cold.
Got up, went to work, things were fine. I even went out and got wor wonton soup. I ate all the wontons and chunks of meat which I hadn't wanted to do, and then ate some of a chocolate bunny.
I then got word that a guy I worked with back at my old store died earlier today. He was a good man, a good husband and a good father. I went to school with his middle daughter, my Dad worked with him for years, my boss knew him for many many years. The store doesn't know, my former boss is telling them tomorrow. Am I selfish in being glad that I don't have to do it? I've already had to do that twice and I'm not even 30 yet.... It's draining, exhausting and makes it seem so unreal.
I purged a small amount of chocolate. I could have kept going but I had work to get done. I ended up eating my salad and more chocolate too, then when I got home, more chocolate. FML...
I'm pissed at my current boss. I took a stand with a customer, and he basically over rode it. I"m pissed. I get to talk to him about it tomorrow.
No gym, too much food. I'm fucking miserable.
Tomorrow I'm eating my salad, yogurt, rice cake and veggies for dinner. Light as possible, and hitting the gym after work. Then Saturday I'm only going to eat at the party and even then as little as possible, and Sunday try to eat almsot nothing. I don't think I'll hit 145 by the weekend, but 140 needs to be the goal for the end of May. It's 2.5lbs per week. I'm fed up of being fat. I want skinny. I like the control. I must have that control.
Bed. Work. Gym. Sleep. Then home for the weekend....
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