Binge....

Pretty much, but that's not how it started. I was tired when I woke up, barely dragged my ass out of bed. Roads were very congested driving to work and I was late, downing my entire tea on the drive. I started in on the water and did my floor shift so I was super busy until 1pm. Then I was STARVING. I ate my salad, got kicked out of the office so I hit up Starbucks for a Skinny grande caramel mocciato (130 cals and 18g sugar...). I then ate my yogurt and 4 strawberries, all totalling less than 300 cals.

I cracked. I was hungry, tired, shaky, and realising that I had still to hit the gym and wouldn't be home for another 6 hours despite having left home 7 hours previous. I bought a big bag of maltesers and ate almost the entire thing. (One of the guys had a few...) I then sat there CRAVING more chocolate. Made it to the end of my shift and drove to the store thinking I would grab a few things, have a bite of each, and toss it out on my way into the gym.

Somewhere while wandering around the store I decided that it would be a great idea to skip the gym today. So I bought chocolate covered caramel balls, chocolate covered ju jubes, liccorice allsorts and a cheese bun. (candy from bulk and I did do tiny amounts, not one of them cost over $1). I started in on the candy right away and then polised off about half of the cheese bun. While driving home I decided I really wanted a burger, so off to Burger King it was for a bacon double cheeseburger meal. I dunked the burger in the gravy, ate half of it, a few fries and stuffed it all back in the bag.

Once home at my friends I then decided to make supper. I had a small piece of salmon, 2 slices of white bread with margarine, and steamed broccoli. Once that was gone I had a few prunes and then my friend came home. She made tea and gave me a huge piece of chocolate cake, and then after she went to bed her husband gave me some popcorn and I had another slice of bread with margarine. Then (yes, I continued to eat!!!) I ate about 6 or so strawberries with nutella on them, and a 100cal licorice stick. I'm hoping that all the licorice will help make this all go away.

I did have a benefiber tablet during all of this also ....

I was 143 this morning.

I'm 147.5 now.

Oh fuck.

I want to not eat tomorrow but I'm not sure that's possible. I close so 1-10. I think I'll head in for noon, have my usual tea, pick up a coffee, have water, vitamin water and a cup a soup but I'll also take a salad and yogurt to accompany it. I should be able to do under 300 cals tomorrow but no gym time.

I feel so gross.

I wish I could purge but I know it's too late and I know I won't get much of it out.

I have to behave tomorrow, friday and saturday now, and will have a small treat on Sunday.

I can't believe I've fucked up my weight that much. I can only hope desperatly that I"m around the 145 range by morning and can starve the rest off by Saturday. Not the end of the world, but a massive set back.

Wander: Glad you like the new blog :) I do too.... probably my obsession with Green Day lol!