gained back that half pound today. But I should be back on track tomorrow.
I had most of my oatmeal, and my tea. Had a coffee later on and a yogurt around noon. Piss poor so when everyone decided to go for lunch I couldn't buy anything. A small blessing.
i sat in the shade, it was kinda chilly due to the light breeze despite it being over 22C and everyone else being pleasantly warm. My boss started the 'maybe you should gain some....' then stopped, saying he shouldn't say anything.
I'm fat. The number on the scale is huge. But what do I really look like? I can't see it. What do I look like to others? I wish I could ask, but I know I won't get an honest opinion. I've weighed 10lbs less. What does 10lbs less really look like?
Sooooo, the hiking trip is cancelled. There's two feet of snow and an avalanche warning in the area and there's no way it will all melt in 2 weeks. That's the risk of going to the mountains, especially such a secluded area. Instead I will head to the mountains a bit further south with my parents for bike ride, not a true mountain bike ride, just on the road.
I'm officially going camping with my friend. Means there's going to be a shit ton of food involved, and alcohol. I think I'm going to go for wine instead of beer (less calories?) and pack a bunch of fruit and raw veggies. However, I will end up eating junk, so I need to be low before I go so I can afford to gain a few pounds. As in down to 140 so I can gain 5....
Stupid training tomorrow. No refrigeration. I have a bagel, tuna, Luna bar, dried fruit, satsuma, and Pepsi Max. I should be ok as long as I don't hit the chocolate. Hoping to go for a trail run but it really depends on the weather as they're calling for storms.
So, hoping for 148.5 by morning.
1 comment:
I can relate to being piss poor:/ I get paid tomorrow & don't think I've ever been so excited for a paycheck.
We all have a fucked up perception of what our bodies look like. How tall are you? No matter if you lose 10 pounds, 20 pounds, 2 pounds, you're still going to see yourself as fat (I do anyways).. If your boss is even making comments such as you need to gain weight then you must be rather thin looking to everyone around you! You seem to workout a lot so I bet you are really toned and small. I weight pretty much as much as you (always going between 140-148 the past couple months) and I really am large. My stomach is no where near flat! (But I'm also only 5'2), it's because I never work out & when I do I don't really know what to do other than cardio so stomach is a permanent flab I'm sure :/
Anyways good luck getting down to 140! Don't stress too much about the camping trip, have fun! don't worry about calories in booze. Drink & be merry:)
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