Not used to working on Saturday, but I survived. Barely.
I can't believe how fucking fat I am. I'm well over 150, nice going me! Way to fuck it up! I have so much left to lose, just to get back to where I once was.
Today, half the oatmeal for breakfast and tea, Didn't eat anything until 2 or so (except half the yogurt), when I ate salad and the fruit. Nothing else till I got home, and even then it was just a piece of fruit. I went out just to go out and hit Chapters. Had a low fat no sugar something or other at Starbucks, and bought two books.
I ended up at the drive in and got a licorice flavoured milkshake and real onion rings.... I ate most of the onion rings and half the milkshake.
I also took two laxatives.
Not quite starving myself...
Tomorrow, I dunno. I've got eggs and a bagel. I'm wondering if I should have bagel before church and eggs after? Go for everything before church?
Regardless, tomorrow I either run or ride. I have to be at a work thing for 7pm too. There will be food. I'm not excited about it. I'll go, take pictures, and leave.
Plan for running or riding by 3 or 4pm, hopefully I'm ok by then ;( Lots of water!
So, for food... bagel and eggs, veggies and fruit. That's it thats all. Maybe less, nothing more.
Bought Wasted. Started watching Rachel Getting Married. Can't figure out which one to start on first.
1 comment:
Don't be discouraged just because you've gained weight back. I mean I'm kind of in the same boat though, I feel like I'm stuck and just end up saying 'fuck it' most the days bc I'm already so over my limit I might as well binge heavily before doing a starve-a-thon. you can & will lose it back, probably pretty fast since you will be going from eating more junk to none.
Wasted is an awesome book, very motivating...or should I say triggering?
Either way it always makes me want to starve myself, but at the same time scares the shit out of me. Beginning is a little boring, but stick it out & read the whole thing!
It sounds like you're going through a tough time, if you need a buddy we could switch emails/numbers, I know it's hard to get through these kind of binge episodes:(
Post a Comment